Shalam Blackrose! I hope you read the disclaimer of the forum before asking your questions.
There are a few reasons why these problems prevail within our nation. For one, the people that have the power to educate our people on this topic choose to rather exploit it and leave these issues unaddressed.
Isaiah 9:16-17 "For the leaders of this people cause them to err; and they that are led of them are destroyed.
17 Therefore the LORD shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows: for every one is an hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still."
As we see, our leaders (our men, teachers, elder sisters, authoritative figures) are a primary cause for the domestic folly that plagues our great nation. And because of the lack of righteousness performed within our nation, the Most High has withheld a portion of his mercy from us so we may learn the severity of disobedience. Without the laws and wisdom of Yahawah, EVERY endeavor has an expiration date upon it, even the blessing of marriage. Yes! women and men alike are mistreated because men and women do not or "don't always" follow God. Since women (most women) are physically weaker than men, they often get mistreated the most, but the numbers for women mistreating men (physically and emotionally) today are practically equal!!!.
Proverbs 29:18 "Where there is no vision (law and order), the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."
So we see the Law of the Most High is the fiber that tightly weaves a relationship and creates the bond of unity needed to be successful (spiritually). Because the Laws of the Most High are oftentimes rejected (to make room for Oprah and Maury's reasoning!), the relationship does not develop the foundation needed to build upon which of course leads to destruction. Because the man is the head of the woman, it is his duty to learn of the Most High and be an example and reflection of the righteousness, wisdom and power of the Most High and teach them to his family (1 Cor 11:3, Tit 2:1-15). It is also the woman's duty to learn and be instructed by HER HUSBAND and not friends, family members and talk show logic. (1Cor 14:35, Tit 2:3-5, Prov 31:10-31).
However when the Bible is not at the center of the relationship, all goes sour because worldly foolishness and froward thoughts develop. A woman will tend to think being submissive means being weak or controlled and she will resist instruction. While a man thinks being the "head" means to be a frantic tyrant commanding respect through force instead of earning it. This type of relationship has Yahawah so far removed from it, it will crumble at lightning speed and the husband and wife will drown in this pool of iniquity along with their children because there is no righteous guide among them. It is no coincidence that the numbers of divorces and seperations are rapidly rising. Just because a person says they believe in God, this isn't enough when securing a spouse, it remains to be demonstrated.
There are many reasons why one chooses the wrong mate: Physical appearance, money, sex, insecurity, loneliness, infatuation, false presentation, having things in common, status etc... However NONE of these should be the premise to begin a marital relationship!!!! And I stress this!!
In my years committed to the truth of the Most High, I have seen many marriages and families easily remove the learned word of Yahawah to give place to emotion, pride and their own reasoning. It begins with pride and the failure to admit you're wrong. This is the largest thorn in a relationship because so much pride has accumulated in the individuals that they fail to see their own faults but choose to scrutinize their mate's offenses. It is easier to see other peoples faults rather than our own because our ego refuses to be exposed.
Ecclesiasticus 32:15 "He that seeketh the law shall be filled therewith: But the hypocrite will be offended thereat."
This is the point when verbal and physical abuse develops in order to destroy the opposing entity trying to unveil one's wrong doings. We must learn to be more sincere, patient and understanding to each other in order to survive this dilemma.
We must also understand that a wife or husband or "soulmate" is NEVER found, they are CREATED from the work of your own hands. People get caught up "looking for love in all the wrong places!" "TRUE" Love first begins with SELF and love towards The Most High and Christ. If you do not know how to first love yourself, how can anyone love you? What criteria do you set for love? This question is usually ignored and after the relationship develops many offenses occur because the love we desire was never understood or defined. This is the importance of communication. If you have no idea what you desire, who then can please you? People make this mistake with loving the Most High. They choose to love him from their own understanding rather than how HE TELLS US TO which is documented in the scriptures. The Bible tells us how to make our marriages successful but the rules only work if applied by ALL involved. Here are some Biblical steps to securing a strong foundation for a mate.
1) Learn and know yourself and iron out your flaws and align yourself properly with the Most High.
2 Cor 13:5 "Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?"
2) Christ shows us how a relationship should FIRST be considered.
Luke 14:28 "For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?"
The elements of a marriage should be considered just as one building a tower and arranging the materials. All things should be considered beforehand, ie: Current standing of faith and knowledge of the Most High in order to teach, true intention of the union, time with spouse, finances, children, even considering if one is presently capable. All these things must FIRST be considered. It's usually after consummation that these thoughts are pondered. As Christ said, if you intend to start it, then have every intent to finish (complete) it.
3) After all is considered, prove your potential spouse (which is called courtship) before consummation.
1 John 4:1 "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets (professing to be a godly man or woman) are gone out into the world."
4) Ecclesiasticus 6:7 "If thou wouldest get a friend, prove him first, and be not hasty to credit him."
Don't be so quick to fall for someone in the beginning because everyone is on their best behavior. Take your time and allow everyday scenarios and adverse situations to occur and see how they maintain. How diligent are they with the commandments? determine if their faith seems strong or weak, what are their chief concerns, See how they act when alone, among their friends and family and your family etc..., their topics of conversation, what they do in their spare time, how they spend their money, what they read and watch on television etc... these things may seem trivial but they say a lot more about the person than they would let you know. It may take time to see this but "in your patience possess ye your souls."(Lk 21:19). It is better to take an unlimited amount of time to learn and discern a person than to spend years living in regret and discomfort. And we must understand that it is not acceptable to the Most High for men and women to "play the whore" and go from person to person trying to get it right! We must maintain an unprecedented demeanor representing and giving glory to the Most High. This alone will ward off most negativity.
Ecclesiasticus 25:21 "Stumble not at the beauty of a woman, and desire her not for pleasure."
This is where many men and women fall. They get absorbed into the physical and emotional qualities and lustful thoughts of an individual, their reasoning becomes impaired and they begin to overlook the warning signs of the negativity in the person.
And the ultimate principle!!!!!
It is not wise to consider a person who does not keep the scriptures! We must understand that we are on the path of righteousness and the Most High's expectations of us is greater than our own. And as children of the Lord, we have a criteria and must set the example.
5) Ecclesiasticus 37:12 "But be ye continually with a godly man, whom thou knowest to keep the commandments of the Lord, whose mind is according to thy mind, and will sorrow with thee, if thou shalt miscarry."
The Most High gives us the criteria for finding and securing a mate/friend and if we adhere to the "script"tures and apply faith and patience, we can have good success. As a whole, men must step up and be examples of the Most High and our women must also step up and claim their seat of virtuousness and honor seeing they are also the reflection of Christ. However, each individual must take responsibility for their choices and understand this....
Ecclesiasticus 13:16-17 "All flesh consorteth according to kind, and a man will cleave to his like. What fellowship hath the wolf with the lamb? So the sinner with the godly."
We are attracted to individuals because there is something within them that we see in ourselves, whether on the surface or tucked deep down within, be it positive or negative. When we align ourselves more with the spirit of the Most High, we will make wiser and more conscious discernment in judging character. Put Christ first and the people and things that are truly WORTH having, will be given.
John 15:5 "I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing."
Please do not think that a woman must be married to learn about the Most High there are many Israelite networks and churches available to learn at your discretion. If you are in the Los Angeles area you may contact us for Class scheduling.
All teachers of the Most High are required to do the following...
Ecclesiasticus 4:10 "Be as a father unto the fatherless, and instead of a husband unto their mother: so shalt thou be as the son of the Most High, and he shall love thee more than thy mother doth."